


Mycelial Reunion

by Seph_on_an_Irrational_Planet



Category: Star Trek: Discovery, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Gen, Q meets the Discovery crew, Spoilers for Star Trek: Discovery season 1, and talks a whole lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:54:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24379810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seph_on_an_Irrational_Planet/pseuds/Seph_on_an_Irrational_Planet
Summary: Q just wants to chat with the mushrooms. Lt. Stamets interrupts him. This fic is purely a vehicle for Q to call Stamets the king of the mushrooms and imply that he's going to have fungus sprouting out of his eyeballs any time now so if you're into a whole lot of Q talking this is for you.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Mycelial Reunion

_Growing in a lab on some primitive starship? It can’t be that comfortable in here can it?_ Lt. Paul Stamets nearly jumped a foot in the air. It was late on the Discovery, well after his shift, but the work maintaining conditions in the cultivation bay was never done. Paul didn’t trust anyone else to do it right thank you very much and had let everyone else off while he finished up. Regardless the lab didn’t have a 24-hour shift rotation and the security tour wasn’t due for another hour so no one should have been down here with him much less talking to someone else. Paul listened, wondering if he’d just imagined it. It wasn’t as if he got a lot of sleep.

_Well if you say so. I still think it’s absolutely absurd you let these humans take spores_ and _access the_ entire _network for what? Some decaying plant matter and water? At least limit where they can go. They’re bound to get themselves in trouble sooner or later. Then what will you do?_ There it was again! A man’s voice he didn’t recognize coming from the cultivation bay. Anxiety settling like a lump of ice in his chest, Paul readied his communicator and crept towards the open bay door.

“Hello?” he called, coming out much quieter than he was hoping. “Who’s there?” There was no sign whoever was in the bay had heard him. A long silence stretched then the voice came again.

_All right all right you limit them to this galaxy. Fine do whatever you want. I still think it’s a mistake._ Paul took a deep breath before peering around the open door mechanism to see who was inside, ready to call security in an instant. Inside was a stranger in a Star Fleet captain’s uniform with his arms crossed wearing a rather exasperated expression directed at the surrounding mushrooms. Paul took a second to blink in shock before activating his communicator.

“Lt. Stamets to Bridge!” he yelled, trying to keep his shaking hands under control. “Intruder alert in the cultivation bay! I need security here immediately!” The man took one look at him and rolled his eyes.

“Oh don’t bother,” he sighed before quickly striding towards Paul and grabbing his arm. Paul’s vision whited out for a split-second before resolving into the bridge in front of the captain’s chair and conn stations. He stumbled backward as the man let him go before looking at the bridge crew. Even Lorca was as startled as he was. “It’s me. I’m the intruder,” said the man as if this was the biggest waste of time in the galaxy. He raised his hands in a placating yet somewhat mocking gesture, “I mean you no harm. Just here visiting some old friends.” He paused, finally getting a good look at the bridge crew. Captain Lorca, Mr. Saru, and Michael all looked in shock from the intruder to Paul as if he had any more information than they had. Ash Tyler had frozen mid-turn toward the turbolift and now shifted his weight from one foot to the other, unsure how to proceed. “ _Oh_ ,” said the man, turning briefly to get a second look at Paul, “interesting.” Lorca recovered first.

“Who are you?” said Lorca, settling into a more relaxed position in the captain’s chair. “You’re no Star Fleet captain I know.” The man snorted.

“And you know all of them I’m sure. If you must know, I’m Q and this,” he gestured to expansively to himself, “is a facsimile. Makes first contact easier. Not that I was terribly interested in talking to you primates until I remembered who crewed this ship.” He dropped his hands and folded his arms before stepping forward to lean against Detmer’s conn panel while Detmer visibly leaned away. Paul remained where he was, unsure if he should move and draw attention to himself.

“And what were you doing in the cultivation bay,” Lorca asked in a slow and even tone that usually meant a dressing down was about to follow. Q rolled his eyes.

“Exactly what I said earlier! Does your species not have ears? Besides you don’t have any secrets on this ship that I don’t already know. Speaking of which,” Q said, lowering his voice, “this is quite a crew you’ve got here, Gabe.” He pointed at Michael, “you’ve got the mutineer.” He turned towards Ash, “the secr-” He paused while the color drained from Ash’s face. “You know? I’ll let you figure that one out,” he said, waving his hand dismissively before moving on to Saru. “The prey animal who’s afraid of everything yet somehow made it to second-in-command. I don’t say this sincerely very often, but good on you, Saru.” Q turned and walked towards Paul before peering closely into his eyes. “Which makes _you_ King of the Mushrooms. You should know they speak very highly of you, but I would limit the jumping. Before the fungus starts sprouting.” Q made an unfolding gesture with his hand in front of his right eye while Paul backed away towards the safety of the conn panels. Q turned back towards Captain Lorca. “And then there’s you. I think you and I both know what makes you special, Captain.” No expression crossed Lorca’s face.

“My excellent night vision maybe?” he said, raising his eyebrows. Q laughed.

“Something like that, but,” Q clapped his hands together before striding back to where he’d initially appeared on the bridge and turning to face them, “I’ve wasted enough of your time. I hate to be rude, but I actually have a lot to do. Until next time.” There was a brilliant flash of light where Q was standing and, when it had faded, he was gone. The bridge was silent for a solid five seconds.

“What the _fuck_ was that?” breathed Michael before looking at Paul. Detmer unfroze at the same time, yelling “yeah! What the fuck, Stamets!?” Paul shrugged helplessly.

“I didn’t do anything! I just found him in the bay talking to my mushrooms!” Captain Lorca suddenly sat up.

“Enough!” he yelled before Detmer could get a reply in. “Calm down and get back on mission! I shouldn’t have to remind you we are in dangerous territory.”

“Aye, Captain,” mumbled Paul as he started walking toward the turbolift before stopping at the doors. “But,” he said, gesturing at uselessly, “are we going to _do_ anything? He knows about the spore drive!” Lorca turned to face him, his face dark with anger.

“And what do you suggest we do, Lieutenant?” said Lorca, his voice cold. Paul opened his mouth before thinking better of it.

“I’ll go make sure the spore drive is online and ready to go.”

“Yes I think that’s wise, Mr. Stamets,” said Lorca turning back to the viewscreen. Saru fidgeted with his ganglia.

“So we’re all just going to forget that happened?”

“That the idea, Mr. Saru.”


End file.
